Cancer Is In My Bones

I’m just numb and don’t want to think about it

Photo by Mehmet Turgut Kirkgoz on Unsplash

I was diagnosed with metastatic brain cancer in April of 2021. They expected me to live less than 6 months, but I am still around 20 months later. I thought I was doing really well but recently had a PET scan.

The cancer has spread to my bones.

I am just numb.

I don’t know how to feel.

I just want to sleep and never get up.

I am tired of fighting.

I think this is the toughest for my mother. She keeps asking me what they can do to treat this. How do I tell her that at this point, there is not much they can do?

They want to do radiation and chemo.

I’m willing to do more radiation because it will provide pain relief. I am not willing to do more chemo.

I’m done with it.

When I’m not doing chemo, I have more energy, my brain functions better, and I can have quality time with people I care about.

I lose these things when I do chemo.

Not everyone is happy with my decision, but it’s my body and my choice. I have to do what is best for me.

I am fighting stage IV cancer. If you can help with medical bills, I would really appreciate it. Or if you enjoy my writing and would like to buy me a cup of coffee, that’s great too. Maybe someday I can return the favor.

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