Dating after Forty

We all have Baggage — and that’s OK

At my writers’ group last night, a younger guy had written a story about going to a writers’ group filled with old women. OUCH!

Is that really how he views me? I put myself in his shoes. When I was in my twenties, how did I view people over 40?

Now that I’m single again, how do I view myself?

I have to admit, when I first started dating after 18 years of marriage, I was sure I’d have no luck. After all, I was a one-breasted, overweight woman of “a certain age”.

Yet just a few weeks ago, I was asked to “hang out” by an adorable 20 year old…. I agreed to hang out, but made it clear we were just friends. I didn’t feel comfortable dating him. He could have been the son of one of my friends. I also don’t want to date people decades older than me.

Fortunately, most of the men who ask me out are closer to my own age, in the +/- 5 year range. Which is better, because we are more likely to have a mental and emotional connection, common interests, and so on.

What is hard to adjust to however, is that everyone over 40 has baggage.

If a guy is over 40 and he’s never been married — is he commitment-phobic? Or the victim of trauma? One such man broke down in tears when he told me about the…