Dude, first off, I never “passed for white”… I never denied my heritage. Second I’m not married. Third, if you look at the FACTS — black people have NOT lived in the rural Midwest for many generations. In 1860, the Midwest was 99% white. In 1900, it was 98% white. It was only after WWII that blacks migrated in large numbers to seek opportunity in Midwestern cities such as Detroit and Chicago. These cities actually do have a vibrant culture that is diverse. BUT… that does not change the fact that blacks do face things like police brutality, etc., that other groups don’t.

I mean, I have had Chinese friends who’ve complained about driving while Asian and I had white people ask me, when I told them I’m from India, if I’d ever seen a car before I came to this country because don’t Indians ride camels.. but black people do face worse racism. No one denies this.

However, there are not a lot of non-whites in small Midwestern towns. My Egyptian friend who grew up in one of these towns told me that his family was one of only a handful of non-whites who lived in that town. Yet he loved his childhood. He was classic introverted geek but, at least from what he’s told me, he didn’t feel much in the way of racism. I also have a black friend who spent several months working in Minnesota last year and he was made to feel very welcome by his colleagues. He has also traveled to Japan, China, etc., and never had any issues, but, like me, he learns about a culture before traveling and makes an effort to blend.

To me this is just respectful. It’s why, when I’ve visited mosques, I’ve made sure to cover my head, etc. (I have Muslim friends and have been to their weddings, etc.)

I’ve lived in many different places and I simply pointed out that some cultures value conformity and others do not. I make no value judgments about this. Rural India is probably worse than the rural Midwest when it comes to pushing conformity. White, black, etc., people who want to move there should be aware of this. Other places are much more open to nonconformity.

My sharing my experiences does not invalidate anyone else’s experience. I read different perspectives with an open mind. I don’t try to invalidate anyone else’s experience. I know that black people may experience racism where Asians may not. I was simply sharing my own experience.