FYI, this is not a critique of you. It's great that you are sharing how things work for you, I just do things differently.

Maybe I'm old fashioned, but if a guy asks me out, he pays. If I ask him out, I pay. (and yes, I've asked men out on a first date, and paid.) If he asks, I'll suggest we go for a walk in the park (which is free) or meet for coffee though I've had men who insisted on wining and dining me.

If we go out more than a couple of times I assume we'll take turns paying.

I have dated men who insist on paying for everything, which makes me uncomfortable since it's not balanced. So then I will find sneaky ways to give back to them, like I'll give them a painting or surprise them with theater tickets or bring them dinner.