Good for you for expecting to be treated well!

I know couples where one partner does most of the housework, but in those cases the split is equitable because one partner works while the other stays home. And it’s not always the wife who stays home — I knew one couple where, after they had their first child, they each took a couple of years staying home so that they each had that time to bond with their child.

When I was married, I didn’t mind doing 90% of the housework when I wasn’t working. I still expected an equal say in how our money would be spent, because it was a partnership and we made a mutual decision for me to stay home. Similarly, when I was the one working, he did 90% of the housework, and he also had equal say in how the money was spent.

Anyway, I was so happy that you left that relationship. What he really was showing by his attitude was a lack of respect for you. No one should deal with that.