I am so sorry for your loss.

In your article, you offered a good perspective.

I’ve survived cancer twice, and I found for myself, that keeping a positive attitude was CRUCIAL to survival. I talk about this in this article.

But having a positive attitude is not the same as blind optimism. It needs to be balanced by an honest look at the facts.

For example, when you lose your job — it’s not a good idea to hang around people who are constantly bringing you down and saying “you’ll never get a job” or who don’t acknowledge that yes, a job loss can be emotionally devastating.

However, you also don’t want someone who pats you on the back and says “Great!” if your response to a job loss is to sell “Herbalife”. A good friend will tactfully point out that an MLM is not the way to go.

When I was struggling with my own cancer, I did avoid people who were very negative. However, I also sought out doctors and care-givers who would be honest with me. I wanted the truth about my prognosis, because that allowed me to make the best plans with whatever time I had left.

One of the doctors I appreciated the most told me, right before we ran some tests, that if the cancer had metastasized, there wasn’t any point in my doing chemo. “Why make you suffer for 6 months to live an extra few weeks?” she said, and I really appreciated that honesty.

I also really appreciated friends who let me cry on them when I needed to. Yes, I worked to maintain a positive attitude but part of that included allowing myself to feel the anger, grief, sadness, etc., that I experienced. Sometimes life is hard and we need to cry.