I am very sorry you had such a total douche as your first. I would love to go back in time and kick his butt for you because what he did was so horrible, and you were so young and innocent.. makes me angry.

I am very lucky. I've only had a few lovers, but every single one gave me oral. my first husband was awesome at it. my current boyfriend is pretty good. But I am super picky. I don't even kiss a guy until the 3rd or 4th date, and with my current boyfriend, he had to wait over 6 weeks before we had sex.

I've had men break up with me after date #3 because that is apparently when we're supposed to have sex Screw that. I control my body and if a man won't give me pleasure he can walk out the door and never come back.

Men wonder why women don't like sex - you explain it very well.