I disagree with you, obviously. Let me address this from my perspective; however, that doesn't invalidate YOUR perspective.

For me, personally, I'm not materialistic. So it was never about having a guy buy me dinner.

I follow protocol. That means, if a guy asks me out and I say yes the assumption is that he is paying. Since he is paying, however, he decides what we are going to do.

If asked what I want to do on a first date, my go-to reply is - "let's get coffee" or "let's go for a walk in the park". Neither of which is going to break his budget.

Of course, if he chooses to ask me out to an expensive place on the first date - that is HIS choice and my assumption is that he can afford it and wants to do it. I don't play mind games and try to second guess things. I'm pretty simple that way.

If _I_ ask a man out on a date (and yes, I've done so) then I ALWAYS suggest meeting for coffee or going for a walk. I like having a low-key first date.

Second, physical attraction is not so cut and dried. I have had this experience a few times - I did not find someone initially attractive but after spending an hour or two with them I discovered they really were attractive. Because of this, I don't consider it a waste of my time to get to know a fellow human being.

Finally, I think you and I just occupy different head spaces. For me, it's about making human connections, learning about different types of people and finding common ground.

When I was a young woman I didn't view men as objects. A lot of men seem to view women as sex objects - if you don't find her sexually attractive why bother talking to her? They never seem to realize that this is a full person here - not just a body to f*ck.

Of course, women have the same hang-ups, in different form. And I don't like it.

I have always tried to relate to men as human beings, not as some type of object I can use for my own self-gratification. That is why I would sometimes put myself out there and go out with a guy I wasn't initially attracted to - I would try to empathize with him and see things from his perspective. Maybe he saw a possibility I didn't? Why not give him a chance and see what happens?