Member-only story
I don’t ask permission of the men I love
Sorry guys, you’re not in charge of me
I remember when I was a new grad working at my first real engineering job. I started to date this guy. I liked him, but he wanted to get serious way too fast.
It was too bad. Looking back, he and I were very compatible and I probably would have been happy with him, but he came on too strong too quickly and I couldn’t handle it. It takes me a long time to fall in love, but I think I’m worth the wait. At least, I hope so!
One thing I remember was going home to meet his family. They were very nice people. His father was an executive with a prestigious firm. His mother was a homemaker.
I remember a conversation I had with my boyfriend. He mentioned that his father had 3 weeks of vacation a year. One week he took with the family, one was for just him and his wife, and the final week he went off with his male buddies.
At the time, I wondered — well, what about his mother? Did she get a vacation to herself?
As I got older, I realized that many families have that type of dynamic. The husband can go off for weekends or even week long trips with his friends, but the wife does not.
In traditional families, the power dynamics contributed to this. Since the man was earning…
