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I Felt Hopeless Today
My cancer may be growing again and I don’t know what to do
I woke up this morning feeling down. I must have had a preconception that something bad was going to happen.
I was slated for immunotherapy today but when I got to the oncologist, the first thing they wanted to do was have me talk to the nurse. It turns out that my bloodwork showed a disturbing trend. My cancer markers indicated that my cancer was growing.
I asked if the markers could be a sign of something else.
She said they could, and the best way to figure it out was by having a PET scan. But we needed to schedule it as soon as possible.
The news made me cry. I felt bad, but I just felt so hopeless and sad. The nurse was very kind and my friend who took me hugged me.
The nurse also told me that it made no sense to do the treatment today given that the results of the tests indicated that the treatment was no longer as effective.
“Cancer is cunning,” she said. “It figures a way to get around treatments and we have to find new options.”
She told me that, best case, I might be able to have focused radiation if they were able to isolate the spot.
