I get it - it IS hard to break up. But that is why you NEED to think of yourself as an independent person. NEVER move in with a boyfriend until you are in a place where you can kick him out (or move) if necessary.

Sign a contract like you would with any roommate - each of you is responsible for half the lease. Or, move in with him, at HIS place, where if he doesn't pay rent, he will be evicted.

It's amazing how men step up to the plate when they are the ones holding the bag if things go wrong.

I know this can be hard to do.

I never lived with a man I wasn't married to but I di have a roommate whose mother died 2 years prior to my allowing her to move in. We had an agreement that she kept violating but because of her situation I kept giving her more chances.

Finally, I'd had enough, and I gave her 30 days notice. The emotional blackmail was insane, because she used her mother's death to make me out as a horrible person and several mutual acquaintances hated my guts.

But I stood firm and she left. I changed the locks the same day.

Women are taught to put their own needs last and to give to others. I think it's good to take care of others and I try to do it. But I also try to take care of myself. I didn't used to, but I've learned the hard way that you need to love yourself as much as you love others.