I have a different take on this. What I would tell the Mom: If she is not returning your calls - give her space. It is about respecting her. if she doesn't want to talk to you, it's disrespectful to force her to do so.

While giving her space, work on yourself. Figure out why you acted the way you did and focus on healing and personal growth.

When you are healthy and healed, THEN reach out again to your child.

Be open and honest with her.

Acknowledge what you did wrong and apologize for those things, but don't take the blame for things that were not your fault, such as your husband's cheating. You can express sadness for her hurt feelings without taking blame for what was not your fault.

For things you are responsible for - ask if there is anything you can do to help her achieve closure.