I have been very lucky to have some incredible women friends BUT I have also seen the dynamics you describe play out. I'm glad you are being so honest! It's important to expose this crap.

For what it's worth, the older I get the better my female friends. Also, I've found that friends I've made through my church and Bible studies tend to be more intimate and deep. I've also noticed this with friends of other faiths though (Muslim, for example) so ... just throwing that out there since it's something I've experienced.

What really brought this home to me - I got cancer and my female friends have been amazing. Taken me to radiation treatments (which in some cases involved taking time off work), sitting with my mom and spending the night when I had surgery, etc. My male friends have also been great but my women friends are... well, just amazing.

When I was in my 20s, however, I often saw the cattiness you describe. It's probably one reason at that age I had mostly male friends! LOL