I love this article. After my divorce, I started dating a German man who grew up in Bavaria and came to the US when he was in his 30s. He grew up very similar to a Scandinavian, I think.

Going "Dutch" is a real thing with Germans. So is the presumption of equality and mutual respect. It's a little weird but I actually love it, because I've never been much into stereotypes.

With my first marriage, I was the iconoclast - I hate doing housework and was more than happy to let my ex do more of it. I took care of the garden and the yard more. We both cooked depending on who got home from work first or felt like it. I let him pay the bills because he's OCD, I took care of our investment portfolio.

On the surface it was very egalitarian but underneath there was a part of him that needed to prove he was "the man" and he'd subtly undermine me in ways that eventually tore us apart.

With my current guy - there is none of that. I feel emotionally supported and nurtured, and I can do the same for him and that makes the relationship much more real and intimate than if we stuck to specific gender roles.

What is weird is, just like you grew up in a traditional Russian culture, my parents are from India and my mom was always the SAHM and housewife while my Dad was the breadwinner. They even had an arranged marriage! Yet in a lot of ways, they were egalitarian too... and they never raised me to feel I had to stick to gender stereotypes!