I May be Homeless Thanks to my Ex

Photo by Matt Collamer on Unsplash

When my ex and I divorced, we had filed our taxes jointly because this saved him money. I was fine doing this because we had an amicable divorce.

In fact, we didn’t even hire an attorney. Our total fees for the divorce were less than $200. We came up with an agreement. I wrote it all down and emailed it to him. He came back with some changes. After another go-round or two, we were at peace.

I wasn’t completely happy and neither was he, but we were both trying to be fair. It was fine. Better we each give up a little than give a lawyer several thousand dollars.

Everything was fine at first.

The problem, however, was that my ex is an alcoholic.

You can’t trust an addict.

My ex was a functioning alcoholic for the first year after our divorce. He’d set up a payment plan with the IRS and he took care of it.

Then he started drinking again.

Now the IRS wants their money and I’m the only one with an asset — the house my mother and I live in.

Why do I have the house while he doesn’t?

Because I had cancer.

When I was first diagnosed, I was given 6 months to live because the cancer was so aggressive.

I survived, but was left very weak. Then the year before my divorce, the cancer came back.

When he left me I was still recovering from a mastectomy. I was also taking care of my elderly mother. I wasn’t working because, thanks to going through chemo and dealing with the cancer, I can’t do the work I was trained for. On a good day I can manage a few hours but I also have weeks where my body can’t function. I’m still managing the damage done by chemo, radiation and surgery.

My ex had totaled his car a few months before the divorce. I gave him my vehicle and he agreed to pay me a fixed amount for 3 years. He paid for a year and a half. Then he started drinking and he ended up homeless.

I am angry at him but I also feel sorry for him.

Addiction does horrible things to people.

The reality is I don’t hate him. He has a disease. It tortures him worse than it hurts me. I don’t have to deal with his addiction anymore. But he lives with it.

On the other hand, now I’ve got to pay the IRS.

The problem is that I was diagnosed with metastatic brain, lung and liver cancer in May of 2021. So I have medical bills. Fortunately I think I can manage a payment plan with the IRS. But it’s going to be tight.

I recently started a fundraiser. If you feel you’d like to help, here is the link:

--

--

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store