I once dated a man whose relationship with his mother showed a similar dynamic. He was white and his mother had been widowed when he was 16 years old.

I didn't have a problem with him driving down to help her out because I believe in respecting our elders and certainly I would do the same for my own parents. But it got to the point where every time he and I had a date, something would break at her house.

Finally, I broke it off with him. Years later, I'd moved on, gotten married, etc., as far as I know he never has. This mother's love for her son was really a selfish love because it prevented him from having a family of his own.

But I never blamed the mother, I blamed the son. As a grown man it was up to him to set boundaries. I assumed that having a marriage of his own was not an important enough priority for him. If it had been, he would have found a way to politely set limits with her.