I think the three steps work synergistically. For example, if you graduate high school you are much more likely to get more than a minimum wage job. To upgrade this recommendation for modern times, though, perhaps upgrade it to — high school plus at least trade school or community college. Not everyone will have the resources, grades, etc., to go to a 4 year college, but you don’t need college to make good money — plumbers, mechanics, medical technicians, CAD designers, etc., can all make middle class income including benefits.
Then, marriage — marriage is really a stand-in word for a long term, emotionally supportive relationship and partnership. When people have a significant other in their life who is working with them to achieve goals, it’s easier to achieve those goals. The key is that the two people need to be committed to each other and invested in each others’ success. You can certainly get this kind of relationship without marriage. You can find it from a supportive family (perhaps one reason that Hispanics, who tend to have extremely strong family structure do better on the poverty metric despite also having high out-of-wedlock rates?) You can find it from a long term bf or gf. You can find it from a group of friends.
Perhaps for black women who can’t get married, they could team together to create their own mutually supportive “family”. Though I have a problem with the assumption that black women can’t get married because so many black men are in jail. What about inter-marriage? If an educated black woman wants to get married, now that the stigma of intermarriage is gone, there is no reason she can’t find a white, Hispanic or Asian guy if she wants to. I have known many men of various races who have been interested in dating black women who have gotten rejected because for whatever reason the black women did not want to date outside their race. But — why not?
Finally, why are black men incarcerated at such high rates? Some of it has to do with racism, but some of it has to do with personal choices. Among my black friends, most of them have a member who is constantly going through the jail revolving door. Sometimes it really is due to unfair reasons, but a lot of the time it’s personal choice. For example, one friend of mine, who is a successful engineer with a Master’s degree, has two brothers. One went to trade school and recently got engaged to a wonderful girl. (Yes, she is also black). The third brother however, has constantly been in jail. When I talk to my friend, he talks of the numerous times family members have tried to help this guy — but he constantly makes bad decisions, despite advice from the more successful family members, and expects to be bailed out. He’s had a history of petty crime, has children with 3 different women, etc. His brother (the engineer) sent him to truck driving school on his own dime, the guy quit two weeks before graduation. He had a DUI, then insisted on driving with a suspended license despite another family member giving him a bicycle, etc.
My friend makes no excuses for his brother. All three boys grew up in a working class neighborhood but their parents provided a solid foundation — they had a strong marriage, they were part of a great church, etc. Even though the parents were both just working class, they saved up to make sure each boy could go to college if they had to. Can you imagine the sacrifices that the parents had to make, on a lower class income, to manage that?
