I’ve thought the same thing — while, as a generalization, one can say white men have an easier time of it in America, this is just a generalization.

I have white male friends who endured horrible abuse and/or poverty as children. I can’t say they were particularly privileged. When I lived in South Carolina, I volunteered to tutor struggling children. The first boy assigned to me was white. He was an amiable youth and we got along well, but he was lazy. I’d call him on it, and he’d agree, but never changed his habits. However, looking back, I think it wasn’t laziness so much as despair. I don’t know for sure, I can’t go back and ask him. I hope he is OK, wherever he is.

Also, as a woman, I resent the discrimination I’ve had to deal with, but at the same time — there are times when I am privileged due to my gender. It wasn’t women who were drafted to fight in wars. And any time I’ve been in a co-ed group and there was danger, the men always seemed to want to protect the women. This is privilege.

I think at heart, men want to be heroes. I think the antidote to “toxic masculinity” is to allow them to do that.