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Jealousy vs. Possessiveness
How the green-eyed monster kills relationships
What is jealousy? What is possessiveness?
Jealousy is a powerful emotion. When someone feels that there is a threat to a relationship that matters to them, they can feel jealous. A jealous person can react with anger and hostility towards the threat or to their loved one.
Sometimes the jealousy is based on rational events.
For example, if your partner’s behavior has changed and there are indications he or she is having an affair — then jealous feelings might have a real basis. In that case, like any source of pain, jealous feelings are a warning sign that there is a problem.
However, a lot of times the jealousy is irrational.
Often it’s based in insecurity and emotional neediness.
For example, there are cases where a new father is jealous of the attention his partner now gives to the baby because he feels neglected. Or a small child might feel jealous of a new brother or sister.
Other times, a person is so driven by their own insecurity that they become controlling and abusive.
Possessiveness is slightly different from jealousy.
