Maybe this is the reason that government employees are usually so unhelpful - they have been beaten down by a totally callous system. I hope you don't have Crohn's and that you are well.

I was an engineering manager for a couple of years. What I told the people who worked for me - if you are sick, stay home and take care of yourself. Why make a sick person come in to the office? It's not only humane to tell them to stay home, it's also practical. They aren't going to be as productive, and they could get others sick.

For stuff like doctor's appointments - instead of forcing them to take a personal day, I'd ask if they would rather make up the time instead. As long as they didn't miss any essential meetings, I didn't have a problem with allowing them some flexibility.

The people working for me often put in extra hours when I needed them to, so I figured the least I could do was give them that option. I mean, we all have lives outside of work.