Men and women are different. I think women show they care by offering to help someone, men show they respect you by assuming you can take care of yourself. Unfortunately in co-ed environments this leads to the dynamic you talk about. Not sure what a good solution is.

OTOH, at the art studio where I work, whenever the heavy water dispenser needs to be refilled, the male artist is the one who does it. EVERY TIME. And he never complains.

Similarly, when I’ve had my car break down, it’s always a man who stops to help me get back on the road. So the gender stereotypes work both ways…

I would be fine fetching tea or coffee for others without reciprocity because that doesn’t take much time away from my other responsibilities, but not the other stuff. I might say something like, “Dorothy, Pilar and I have all taken our turn at cleaning up (or answering the phones), maybe Charles and Vijay need to take a turn. Or maybe we need to hire someone to do it?”