My article addressed alimony, not child support, so I am not sure why you made the comment about making a man pay for his own kids. I don’t think ANYONE would say that child support is a punishment. Both parents need to take responsibility for their children.

Re. something like one spouse putting the other through law school — I think couples make those decisions together for their mutual benefit. For example, if spouse A puts spouse B through med school, then they both benefit from spouse B’s higher earnings as a doctor. It also means, if they divorce 20 years later, both spouses end up splitting a larger pool of assets. So spouse A will get a larger settlement than if he or she did not put spouse B through medical school.

I do think it’s important for both partners to discuss things ahead of time, and write things down. This means open communication. If both partners decide the wife will stay home with the kids, then they need to discuss what that actually means in terms of her career. Maybe they decide he’ll support her going for an MBA once the kids are in school. But write it down! That avoids future conflict.