My Father Carried Handkerchiefs

Elements of grace before the disposable era

One of my father’s handkerchiefs. I still have several left to me by both my father and my ex husband

My father always carried a pocket handkerchief. In fact, he carried two.

His handkerchiefs were washed, starched, and ironed by the servants. In India, in those days, middle class families typically had someone to do this.

And it made perfect sense — the poor needed work and this provided them a way to support their families that the middle class could afford.

When Mom joined my father in the United States, there were no servants. At first she tried to do everything but it was too much for her. She no longer ironed bed sheets, but she still ironed his handkerchiefs and the pillowcases.

I loved sleeping on those she pillows on laundry day. As a child, I found it a sensual delight.

When I got married, I surprised my husband ironing his handkerchiefs for him. I was pleased to discover that, like my father and his father, he always carried two pocket handkerchiefs. He also shined his shoes on a regular basis, as his father had done and mine continued to do until he died.

My husband asked if I minded doing this for him.

“If it were a problem, I wouldn’t be doing it,” I told him. “Believe it or not, there is something I find very satisfying about…