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Narcissists, gaslighting and power
Why narcissists lie to you
I have a theory.
I think those with NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) gaslight because it verifies their power over others.
You might say “duh” — particularly if you have been dealing with someone with NPD. These are people who believe the world revolves around them. They need excessive attention and admiration and lack empathy for others. If you tell an NPD you broke your ankle, he or she will turn the conversation to the time he or she sprained their ankle several years ago. If you call them on it, you will be made to feel guilty for lacking sympathy for their pain.
NPDs often appear confident. But they are actually emotionally fragile. The slightest criticism or disagreement with their world view can set them off.
One reason that NPDs gaslight — it is an exercise of control for them. And this feeds their addiction. They need to feel they are in charge of the narrative.
You see, if they are navigating the world in a truthful way — there is no hit for them. There is no proof of their control, because the truth is objective. It exists outside of themselves. It cannot be controlled by the NPD. Therefore, the truth is anathema to the NPD. It’s dangerous. It feels chaotic to them. It cannot be put into the…
