Please be kind to yourself. With your new partner - take it one day at a time. Give yourself space and freedom. No judgment.

I have had friends who are in a similar head space (of course not the same - every one has a different story). One friend has been with her partner for over 30 years. They never married.

I do think if you have children, they must be provided for and marriage is how civilization takes care of that. But if you have a child, you and your partner can figure that out without marriage, as well. The most important thing is to have honest and integrity and to respect yourself and others. I think given the raw honesty of your story, you are showing that integrity.