Respect Your Partner
You’re not in charge of them!
My ex-husband had this friend who made it very clear he was “the man”. He was the one in charge of his marriage. After all, he earned the money. He showed his wife minimal respect. I found this pretty horrible but… they’d been friends for years before I even met my ex. I wasn’t going to insist he dump his friend.
I did ask for an explanation.
“He’s the most loyal friend you could ever have, and he’s super funny and smart. Plus he was there for me when I went through a divorce.”
OK, fair enough. For a while, we did couples things, but I got to the point where it was harder and harder for me to keep my mouth shut. Finally, I lost it.
After that, I told my ex this guy was no longer welcome in my house. That needed to be a safe and comfortable place for me. He could keep the friendship, but they would need to meet elsewhere. This worked for a while, until the friend started insulting me. That’s when my ex told him if he did that again, the friendship was over.
I didn’t ask my ex to do this. I did tell him afterwards that I appreciated it, however.
So, was this OK?
It was the right way to go for me. That doesn’t mean it’s right for you. I’m not the world’s arbiter on all things right…
