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She called me an “ableist”
Why do people feel the need to label and invalidate others?
Recently, I read an article about someone’s struggle with lymphedema. As someone who has recently had to deal with this myself, I commented on her article. I told her I wished the best for her, and I do. The struggles she describes having to deal with seem overwhelming and I think it’s very brave for her to honestly share her experiences.
However, I made the “mistake” of defending another commenter who had offered dietary advice.
From my personal POV, when others try to be sincerely helpful, the proper response is not hostility. As a cancer survivor, I understand the frustration when someone offers “helpful” advice that turns out to not really be helpful, but if the intent was well meaning, why lambaste the person when a polite “thank you” will suffice?
The fact is, just because you are having a lousy day does not give you the right to make someone else feel horrible, particularly when they really do mean well. Perhaps they are ignorant but ignorance is not a crime.
Yet this “charming” woman felt the need to attack me for daring to defend someone else who dared to suggest lifestyle changes. She accused me of “fat shaming”, of being an “ableist” and of invalidating someone else. The reality — she…