Spouses Have to Put Each Other First

And make sure their relationships are based on mutual respect

My parents at Versailles when we visited France together. They always put their relationship first, which is probably why they were still in love 40 years after they got married.

When I was in my mid-20s, I was dating a wonderful man, let’s call him Nick, with whom I was quite compatible. He and I enjoyed each others’ company. We shared most of the same values. I knew I could rely on him and that we could talk things through. There was also the physical attraction.

He paid attention to me and was sensitive to how I felt. I was patient with his sometimes being late because he got caught up in work. As a fellow geek, I understood that, though I would let him know when being late was not OK — such as when we had theater tickets.

We enjoyed playing board games together and traveled well together, and he and my dog got along. He also got along well with my close friends and I got along with his.

I even got along with his mother, at least at first.

The problem?

His mother was a widow and he was her oldest son.

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

The younger son had gotten married and moved some distance from his mother. He only saw her on some holidays, since he had to split the…