the problem is women who "mother" their boyfriends or husbands.

When I was dating and married, I didn't do that, so, guess what - the guys took care of me. Men will step up to the plate if WOMEN LET THEM.

Men are human beings, just like women. That means they will often take the path of least resistance. If a guy finds a woman who will be his mommy, he will let her because it's easy. If women want an equal partner, they need to step up their expectations.

The flip side of this, of course, is that women have to also be better partners. A lot of women are harshly critical of men for ridiculous reasons. Men are a lot more fragile than they appear, and women can really hurt them. A little appreciation, OTOH, goes a long way.

Bottom line, women need to respect themselves enough not to be doormats and respect their partners enough to treat them like fully functioning adults. If that means calling them on their B.S...

Addendum: I went ahead and wrote an article on this:

https://shefaliohara.medium.com/stop-putting-up-with-mens-b-s-b10b8ed30a64