The rule I follow — if a guy asks me out on a date, he pays. If I ask him out, I pay. And yes, I also ask guys out on dates. When I am in a relationship, we each pay as we are able. So if I’ve got a great job and I’m dating a grad student, he might cook me a meal while I treat him when we go out to the movies. I’m OK with whatever permutations of this scenario occur as long as both of us treat each other respect.

I am not OK with treating men as wallets and I am not OK with treating women as sex objects. A real relationship is a partnership of equals and one of the ways that manifests is how we take care of each other.

One reason I do still judge a guy on whether or not he pays for a date (when he’s invited me) — if he is not generous in one area, he can often be selfish in others. For that reason, though, I would also advise a man to see if she also initiates dates and pays for them. Because generosity should be a two way street…