There is another side to this... I lived in the Midwest for a little over a year, in a small town, and I was accepted and befriended by my white neighbors. I am not white, but I am also not black. I am Asian, my parents are from India.

I found everyone to be friendly - a neighbor brought over zucchini bread to greet me, people at church were welcoming, etc. BUT... I was a professional. And I did the things they expected - I went to church, kept my yard pristine, etc.

Another friend of mine, the son of a professor from Egypt, enjoyed growing up in the Midwest. But, again, his family did what was expected.

The onus is on newcomers to figure out what the social protocols are and to assimilate. Midwesterners, like many Northern European cultures, do not like rapid shifts to their culture.

It would be similar if I moved to Germany, as a German friend of mine explained to me. The people would be very friendly as long as I made the effort to fit in - he came from a town in Bavaria and explained that if I wore a mini skirt to church, for example, or trashed my yard, I would be despised. But follow the rules - dress conservatively to church (and go to church!), keep my yard clean, etc. - and I'd find people remarkably friendly and polite.

Basically, if you want to live in certain parts of the world, whether Germany or Japan or rural India or the American Midwest - you need to accept that they expect conformity to their culture. Other parts of the world (NYC, London, and, ironically, parts of the American South) are much more open to diversity of lifestyle. If you read the works of Flannery O'Connor, it's bizarre but you can see this.