What happened to taking care of yourself?

First off, I would not live with a man I’m not married to. Call me old fashioned, but if we’re not getting married, we don’t need to live together.

Second, given that these two are NOT married, why the heck is she not taking care of herself? If he makes significantly more money, great. But he is not obligated to give that to her. She needs to make decisions based on what makes sense for her.

That means, if he makes $100K a year and she makes $50K, then if he wants to split the bills 50/50, fine, but then he can’t have a lifestyle that does not allow her to save and invest money. That means he agrees to a lifestyle she can afford and still save for her retirement.

If he decides he is OK with subsidizing her, that’s great, but that doesn’t take away her responsibility to look after herself.

If he wants to leave everything in his will to his kids, that is his choice. However, if she is dependent on his income then she needs to be honest about this. If he loves her, he will want to help her.

That doesn’t mean leaving her stuff in his will. She is not his dependent. This is not the 1800s when women were dependents.

However, he could show his love for her by supporting her while she goes back to school so she can make more money on her own. He could also get a life insurance policy (which she pays for, as the beneficiary).

Also, assuming she pays a portion of the mortgage/utility bills/etc., the house they live in SHOULD be in both their names.

Then, if he dies first, she can either buy out his kids and stay in the house, or the house gets sold and she can use her share to get another, smaller place.

Bottom line, if I were her, I would not try to coerce him into leaving her in his will. I’d just make sure he’s got one drawn up so there isn’t a mess left behind when he dies, and make sure I’m taking care of myself financially.