What if you have black friends who call each other the n-word and when you're with them you also say it? While none of my black friends use the word (and neither do I), I've heard groups of kids at the mall call each other the n-word, and not all of the kids in the group were necessarily black. To me this is a generational thing. My black friends of my age or older don't use this word, but younger generations sometimes do.

The problem is if a white kid hangs out with a group of black kids who regularly use that word and they don't have a problem with him using it while in that group, it becomes a habit... and he might slip and use it in the wrong context. Then he might get defensive when called on it. Best thing - just don't use that word...

Another example - I grew up in NYC and had many Jewish friends. I went Passover sedars, knew about bat and bar mitzvahs, etc. Fast forward a couple of decades and I made a comment about Jewish cuisine and got lambasted by someone who told me that was offensive. Color me puzzled. In NYC everyone knows where the best Jewish delis are, and that's how we refer to them...

Or, going back to black people - the NAACP is the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People. But calling black people colored nowadays is offensive, as is using the world Negro, though there is the United Negro College Fund. Times change.