When I was in college, there was a year when I did this, and surprisingly enough, it DID NOT WORK. During that year, I decided to be 100% egalitarian and paid for myself and expected the man to pay for himself. Not only did I have less dates, but the ones I had didn’t treat me nearly as well!

I discovered through trial and error what succeeds when it comes to dating, at least for me. Your experiences may differ of course.

BTW, there is another element to this as well. Generally the hidden costs when it comes to dating are paid by the woman. For example, women will generally spend more in terms of clothes/make-up getting ready for a date, and this is also socially expected of them, or it used to be. They also are generally expected to pay for birth control, even in a long term relationship. And if she gets pregnant, there are many men, again, even in long term relationships, who don’t want to pay, either for the child or for the abortion.

I suppose women could be up front about these things. Eat the additional cost of wearing make-up, etc., or not do it. (I personally don’t wear make-up and dress for comfort, but most women I know do dress up for dates). And then when sex and its consequences come up — be honest and up front.

“OK, do you have a condom? I am on the pill, and it costs X per month since my health insurance won’t cover that. Are you willing to shell out your part of this, or should we stick to oral, but, BTW, I want to enjoy sex too, so you’ll need to be willing to do your part if we go for 69.”