Member-only story
Who Cares if They Don’t Like You?
Don’t let yourself be manipulated
When I was a kid, I didn’t have many friends. I was also a people pleaser. Connection?
The reasons were not that complex.
I was the oldest child and the girl in an Indian household. Culturally, I was driven to make sure everyone was happy. Plus that is my natural tendency — I am a happy person and would like to see others be happy as well.
What is actually sorta a lovely trait, I think, ended up biting me in the rear in many ways.
I was too concerned with others’ welfare and not enough with my own.
It took me years to finally stop caring.
Not that I don’t care for people. I do care about their welfare. I care about fairness and justice. But I don’t really give a darn anymore if people like me.
And that’s a good thing.
All too often, people have used my desire to be liked to manipulate me.
Because not everyone is a good person. And not everyone is healthy.
There are times when you need to put up your shields:
- When a co-worker takes credit for the work you have done — you need to learn how to respectfully, politely, but firmly stand up for yourself.
