Who Pays on Dates?
Fairness, Equality and Social Reality
I recently got into an interesting discussion with a younger single man, “Antonio”. (All names are made-up to protect the not-so-innocent.) He was upset that he had to shell out money to go on dates.
I pointed out the protocol — whoever asks, pays. When a man asks me out, I assume he will pay. When I ask a man out, I pay. This is true until we are in “a relationship” at which point things sorta work themselves out…
So then Antonio asked me how often I asked men out. I had to admit that 90% of the time it was the man asking me out on a first or second date… and he pressed home the point that this was radically unfair to men. He was unhappy because he has to spend so much money looking for love.
That got me thinking. Is it really fair that men spend more on dates?
There are so many ways to look at fairness. Equal doesn’t always mean fair. And social reality often flies in the face of our idealistic views of both.
I consider myself an old-style feminist. I believe in the equal rights of all people. Some people might call me a traditional liberal. Or libertarian. Whatever box you want to stick me into, fear not, I will find a way to climb out. I don’t like being pigeon-holed. I’m a person, not a mannequin or easily defined bit…
