Would she go to therapy?

What she is doing to your children is seriously messed up. If you love your kids, you will deal with this toxic situation ASAP.

If she will go to therapy with you, try that route first, since you want to try to keep the family together. If she won't go, go without her. The therapist may recommend behavioral changes you can make.

However, you may need to separate from her for your sake and also your kids. Find a good lawyer and get their advice. Start recording her rants so you have evidence. Heck, if she abuses your kids physically, call the cops on her. Make sure you have evidence that she is the abuser, not you. A hidden security camera may be necessary.

I realize you still love your wife, but the damage she is doing to your children will scar them for the rest of their lives. Your job as a father is to protect your children. DO YOUR JOB