You are one of the first people I started following when I joined Medium because every article I read had something that I could use. I had no idea of your story, I just loved to read your work.

I have volunteered with inner city and poor kids and have seen the bigotry of low expectations all the time. Mostly by people who mean well, but don’t set standards — because they don’t expect more from the kids. I would be strict with them, which would startle the other volunteers and teachers. But being strict meant that I expected them to be able to meet a higher standard. And kids responded to that. I would watch their posture change — they stood up straighter. It was subtle, but it was there. Children need to know someone believes in them.

And we need that for ourselves too. It’s hard to fight against the wrong messages if that’s what you’ve heard all your life but we need to champion ourselves even if no one else will.

On a more personal note, when I started dating after 18 years of marriage, I was (and am) very overweight. I didn’t let that stop me. I have one breast, and I didn’t let that fact stop me either. And when I do other things that put me in front of people — teaching, speaking, etc. — I just do it. I am also a minority woman and sometimes I’ve had to deal with racism. But you can’t let other peoples’ hatred affect you or keep you down.

One reason I love your writing — it empowers me. Thank you!