Member-only story
You Can’t Let Your Mother Starve
But you don’t need to feed her addiction
I think it’s a good thing to care for your family. When I was married and we were making decent money, we sent a small amount to my grandmother each month as well as to my husband’s cousin who was disabled.
It helped them and we were happy to do it. However, we volunteered to help — they never asked us. They appreciated it. And they never asked for more.
What happens if one of your relatives, let’s say your mother, is broke and keeps asking you for money? What if she spends it on stuff she doesn’t need and then asks you for more? What do you do?
The thing is, addiction is like a black hole.
Some people are addicted to drugs or alcohol or gambling. Others are addicted to spending. They can’t stick to a budget.
I had a friend like that many years ago.
But at least she recognized that she had a problem.
When we went shopping she would give me her wallet to hang on to. I was only supposed to let her buy what she told me upfront she needed.
She was a generous person — if I’d let her she would have bought stuff for me as well as herself.
